Does Disagreeing Mean You're Bitter Or Offended?

I think there's a lot of confusion when it comes to disagreeing with someone or something and being bitter or offended. Often people think that when someone does disagree that they are for some reason bitter or offended. I do think that disagreement can definitely lead to someone being bitter or offended if they're not careful. However, saying someone is bitter or offended simply because they disagree with someone or something is absurd. Think about times when you disagree with your spouse. It certainly doesn't mean you're bitter and offended with them, does it? It's funny that some people might think you are though. Disagreement does not equate to bitterness and offense. Don't read into it and make it a bigger deal than it really is. I think we can learn from the example of John Mark with Paul and Barnabas. Sure there was disagreement but I don't think there was bitterness or offense between anyone. If you see how things ended up with these men, their disagreements were just that and nothing else. But as I started off, disagreement can lead to bitterness or offense, but only if you'll let it. My encouragement to you is don't allow it! Bitterness and offense is a horrible place to be. It's a prison! Disagreements are part of life, but bitterness and offense make life miserable.

Your Personal Convictions Should Be Your Personal Convictions and Not Someone Else's

As a parent I'm always helping and supporting my kids as they develop their personal convictions to help them live out their walk as Christians. I realize that personal convictions are important, but they must be what they are called, personal. Melanie Stone defines personal convictions as, "...a specific boundary of behavior that God has set for a person individually; however it is not necessarily a commandment defined in the Bible, nor is it a behavior meant for others to follow." Unfortunately too many people seem to be confused when it comes to personal convictions. Firstly, they are often based on Bible verses, but are often personalized. For example, if the Bible says we're to live holy, a personal conviction could be developed to achieve this. It may look like not watching R rated movies., but again, that should be your choice. And how it may look for one person may look completely different for another, which is fine. Secondly, personal convictions are just that, convictions, and are not Bible. The Bible is the infallible word of God, whereas personal convictions are developed from the Bible, but are not equal to the Bible or higher than the Bible. Another thing that arises with personal convictions is when people think others should live out their personal convictions instead of their own. If this were the case they wouldn't be called "personal" convictions. It doesn't mean that people can't adopt someone else's convictions, it simply means they shouldn't feel like they have to or should live out someone else's. Never should a person try to put their own personal convictions on someone else. Personal convictions should be personal with the goal of growing as and living as a Christian. If you don't have personal convictions I highly recommend you develop some. They should have the goal and purpose of helping you live victoriously as a Christian. 

Hearing Problems

Too often we hear people say, "I can't hear you," but actually what they're really saying is more like, "I don't want to hear you!" I'm seeing more and more examples of this in every arena of our culture. People plugging their ears because they don't want to hear what's being said (and I don't mean garbage talk). I'm sure from time to time I've been guilty of this myself, but definitely now realize the dangers involved when we choose to do it. What would make someone not want to listen to what you're saying? Maybe they feel threatened by your words or perhaps it's not wanting to hear the truth? Busyness could also bring this into play and so could pride. In fact there are many reasons people don't want to listen to what others say, but what's important is seeing and understanding what things we need to listen to. The perspective and view of others could be the very thing that helps us keep on course and grow as a person. How are you when others want to bring a different opinion, perspective or idea (and I'm not taking about what the Bible clearly says, but the practical living of such things). Things that are more personal preference or philosophy? Helping with life, your choices and decisions, your schedule, taking care of yourself, your marriage, and practical parenting, what you should and shouldn't do, etc. Are you quick to plug your ears? Perhaps you're formulating your response as they speak ignoring all that's being said? When others come to you don't be so quick to move your fingers up to your ears. That person may have something you need to hear. I know recently I've worked on this and greatly benefitted from it :) Try it and see what happens...

What I've Been Up To Lately...

The past 3 months have been such a wonderful journey since stepping down from overseeing the HITC internship. I have enjoyed many things, missed some things but most importantly, I've learned so much. Throughout it all I've come to see the indescribable faithfulness of God. He has been with my family and I every single step of our journey. A lot of people have wanted to know what I'm doing now job wise since my transition. When it comes down to it, two things keep me very busy. Firstly, I've been teaching tennis at Crane Creek Country Club here in Boise. Lessons have been picking up rapidly and I've been on court over 20 hours last week and will be around 20 this week. I was hoping for about 20 hours per week so to reach my goal after only 3 weeks is awesome. I'm working with men, women and kids of all abilities. And let me tell, after stepping away from tennis for 12 years, I'm absolutely loving it! And what's even better my boss is a New Zealander :) Secondly, many of you know I have a knack for finding quality products and then reselling them. So that's what I've been doing along with tennis. I have a niche with what I'm looking for to resell and then I go for it. Over the past several months I've been selling about 200 items per month online trying to make 300-1000% on every item I sell. And guess what, God's blessing what I'm doing :) When people ask me how I'm enjoying what I'm doing, all I can say is, "I love what I'm doing!" I'm truly having a blast. One of the most surprising things I've learned, which I think many people need to know is this. You can pastor people anywhere and everywhere. It's amazing the opportunities I've had already to help minister to people. There are hurting people everywhere who need the Lord. I may no longer be known as Pastor Lee, but believe me, I am now Lee who pastors and ministers to people. It's awesome! Just as there are many opportunities around me, I also know there are many opportunities around you. Will you love, care for, help and serve others? You have no idea the impact this will have on others. In closing, I do want to thank everyone who has prayed for me and my family. Your prayers and encouragement have meant the world to us :)

Don't Miss Out On the Small Stuff

My life has had many twists and turns these past two years in so many different areas. In the midst of all of these changes I must say that I'm totally loving life in a way that I haven't in a long time. Life is awesome. But don't get me wrong, the things I'm loving the most are things that could be easily overlooked due to busy lives and busy schedules. The rat race robs us daily of some of the most important things. I've loved holding Cami sitting in the chair. I've loved sitting with Katherine on the couch talking about our days. I've loved doing late night Sonic runs for half price shakes with my kids. I've loved getting out on the tennis court and helping people feel good about themselves in a brutally critical world. All of us have little things we're missing out on. Be aware of them and don't bump them for other things. Hug your spouse and tell them how much you love them. Spend time with your kids. Go get some ice cream or a coffee. Yes these things are very simple, very overlooked, and yet so important :)

Does Your Family Get Only Your Leftovers?

Do your friends, job, hobbies or whatever else get the best of what you have to offer while your family only gets your leftovers? This questions hits me like a ton of bricks! As much as we want to answer no, I think all too often the obvious answer would be yes. Unfortunately it becomes commonplace to give our best effort and virtue, plus a majority of our time to others and other things. And when we're around our family all they seem to get are morsels and a dad who's wiped out from everything else he's been doing. When you think about it, shouldn't my wife and kids get my best (after Jesus)? Or should they be at the bottom of my priority list? Absolutely not! In fact, behind God, they should be next on your list. I can see seasons in my life where I must ashamedly say my family wasn't at the top of my list. My busy life and schedule along with putting the urgent over the most important, relegated them to the next tier down. But I'm happy to say that now they are now at the top of my priority list, obviously behind my personal relationship with the Lord :) For me to realize my goofed up priorities actually took a good dose of humility and a listening ear to those closest to me. As I stepped back and looked at my life I began to see the obvious. As I listened to the hearts of my family, without any defensiveness I must say, I clearly saw what they were telling me. Are others important? Is your job important? Are hobbies and activities important? The answer is yes to each of them. However, not one of these should supersede your family and their needs. I have taken action and turned the ship around in my family. It took time,  patience, saying no to some things, and humbly listening to my family. If you asked me if it was worth it, with a resounding Yes you'd know how I feel about it :) I love this quote from Fierce Marriage which was recently shared on Facebook..."Spending all our energy, kindness, generosity, smiles and graciousness on our daily contacts and jobs and then giving out families the left overs and pent up frustrations or tiredness symptoms like snapping or short fuses is completely opposite of the original design....If strangers, coworkers, or even church friends see a better side of you than your spouse sees, something is terribly wrong. Give your spouse the best of you; your marriage is your first ministry." And I couldn't agree more :) Don't be afraid to make changes in your life if you need to--you and your family won't regret it :)

Of Course I'm Better Than You...

"Of course I'm better than you" is a phrase we occasionally hear someone say. And yes, saying words like this can verge on being very dangerous. But even though we may not say it, we can certainly think this way or act like it. For someone to believe that they are better than anyone else is plain and simple pride. I'm seeing there have been times where I've been proud with what I've said, thought and how I've acted. But I now see how wrong it is and at the same time how blind someone can be to it. Pride can be so subtle, and we can even deny it, but unfortunately it's alive and well in our lives. Webster describes pride simply as, "a feeling that you are more important or better than other people." It's hard to deny that this definition doesn't describe us all at times. Proverbs 16:18 tells us, "First pride, then the crash--the bigger the ego, the harder the fall." The warning against pride, or thinking that you're better than someone else, is very serious. If you're ready for a crash or fall, all you have to do is think you're better than others. Humility is what our goal should be. Webster describes being humble as, "not proud; not thinking of yourself as better than other people. "Humility is the example shown to us by Jesus with His words, thoughts and actions. Shouldn't this be the pattern we should follow? Don't even let an ounce of pride be found in you.